How to Settle Arguments With Your Teen Like a Harvard Negotiator

Constantly clashing with your teen? Here's the good news: conflict isn't the problem. It's how we handle it.

👉 Want disagreements that build your teen up instead of blowing up? Inside Parenting Teens Academy, parents learn to stay calm in the heat of an argument, solve problems together, and raise a teen who can disagree respectfully. Try it free for 7 days

In this episode, I sit down with Bob Bordone, a negotiation and conflict resolution expert who taught at Harvard Law School and author of Conflict Resilience. Bob shares how the same strategies used to resolve high-stakes disputes can turn power struggles and blowups into productive conversations that build trust and teach teens lifelong skills.

Avoiding conflict might feel easier in the moment, but it weakens your connection over time. Bob explains how to use everyday disagreements to teach problem-solving, perspective-taking, and resilience.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

• Why avoiding conflict with your teen may hurt more than help
• How naming emotions, known as "affective labeling," calms heated arguments
• How to stop power struggles and spark better problem-solving
• Why teens who know how to argue well are more resilient and confident

EPISODE CHAPTERS

• 00:00 Why conflict can be good for parents and teens
• 05:48 Why we avoid conflict
• 11:35 Turning conflict into collaboration
• 15:41 Communication strategies that work
• 20:37 Technology and boundaries
• 28:03 Building trust with your teen
• 35:37 Becoming conflict resilient

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Conflict Resilience by Bob Bordone
• Matthew Lieberman's research on affective labeling (UCLA)
• Dr. Judson Brewer on the "Bigger Better Offer"
• Family idea: read Conflict Resilience together as a family book club

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CONNECT WITH BOB BORDONE

• Website: BobBordone.com
• Instagram: @bobbybordone
• X: @bobbordone
• Facebook: Bob Bordone
• LinkedIn: Robert Bordone
• YouTube: Bob Bordone

CONNECT WITH DR. CAM CASWELL

• Website: AskDrCam.com
• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
• Parenting Teens Academy

ABOUT THE SHOW

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam is hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach. Each episode gives you practical strategies, expert advice, and real-world insight to build a stronger relationship with your teen.

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