19. Don’t Marry Broke | Why You Need to Be the Rich Man

Every time a friend asks me for one piece of marriage advice, I say the same three words: don’t marry broke. And I’m talking about her bank account first. At 18, I let a 30-year-old lawyer fly me and my friends to Vegas, and I couldn’t have named one thing I liked about him besides his wallet. That’s what dating looks like when you can’t pay for your own life. I’m breaking down why your own money is the best partner filter you’ll ever have, what a Dartmouth economist found about women’s marriage choices as their earning power grows, the $5 coffee story I can’t stop thinking about, and the checklist I want every woman to finish before she gets serious with anyone.

Research mentioned:

• Shenhav, Na’ama. “Lowering Standards to Wed? Spouse Quality, Marriage, and Labor Market Responses to the Gender Wage Gap.” The Review of Economics and Statistics, 103(2): 265–279, 2021.

In this episode, we cover:

• The Vegas trip at 18 that showed me exactly where my head was when I couldn’t pay my own way
• The three things you need on you before you go on any date
• What happens to women’s marriage choices as their paychecks grow, according to the research
• The $5 coffee story, and what it tells you about who really controls the money
• My four-part money checklist before you get serious, starting with the “F that man” fund

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

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