How to Stop Letting Fear Control Your Life (ft. Dr. Julie Smith)

You know that voice in your head that loves to tell you that you suck? Yeah, that one. The one that compares you to everyone on Instagram, tells you you’re a failure for eating cereal at 11 p.m., and insists you’ll never get your life together. Well, today, we’re calling in a professional to deal with that assh*le. Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist and viral mental health educator who’s built a massive following by actually making psychology make sense. In this episode, she breaks down how to quiet that inner critic, stop getting crushed by comparison, and reframe your self-loathing into something a little more useful—like self-respect.

We also dig into what it’s like to become internet famous when you’re an introvert, why emotions are not facts (even though they feel like they are), and how to stop letting social media, your parents, and your own bullsh*t beliefs define your worth. Whether you’re stuck in a shame spiral, wondering why life feels pointless, or just trying to figure out how to not hate yourself so much, this episode is for you.

Dr. Julie’s new book, Open When: A Companion for Life's Twists & Turns: https://www.amazon.com/Open-When-Companion-Lifes-Twists-ebook/dp/B0D3CB1XX6

Dr. Julie’s first book, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Nobody-Told-This-Before-ebook/dp/B0983L6T32

Follow Dr. Julie:

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJulie

https://www.instagram.com/drjulie

https://www.tiktok.com/@drjulie

https://x.com/drjuliesmith

https://www.facebook.com/DrJulieSmith/

CHAPTERS

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: That Voice in Your Head
• 00:01:13 The Social Media Paradox: Spreading Mental Health Advice Online
• 00:03:21 From Therapy Room to TikTok: An Accidental Journey
• 00:04:55 Internet Fame and the Introvert's Dilemma
• 00:07:01 Having Your Own Back: The Inner Coach Technique
• 00:09:50 The Investment Portfolio Approach to Identity
• 00:12:40 Social Comparison: A Strength Turned Upside Down
• 00:17:47 The Values Exercise: Finding What Actually Matters
• 00:20:48 The Whole Package: Envying Success Without the Sacrifice
• 00:22:58 Working With Military Trauma: What Humans Are Capable Of
• 00:25:32 You Have More Capacity to Cope Than You Think
• 00:27:33 Predator vs Prey: Facing a Cancer Diagnosis
• 00:30:23 Thriving Under Pressure: The Great Debate
• 00:31:42 The Loneliness Epidemic and Modern Barriers to Connection
• 00:35:02 Good Therapy, Bad Therapy: What to Look For
• 00:39:52 Modeling a Positive Ending: The Therapeutic Breakup
• 00:41:00 When Everything Feels Pointless: Nihilism and Meaning
• 00:44:01 Emotions Are Not Facts: The DBT Approach
• 00:46:05 Emotions as Weather: Clouds Will Pass
• 00:47:59 What Actually Matters: The People Right Next to You
• 00:50:02 When Your Parents Got It Wrong: The Adult-to-Adult Shift
• 00:53:34 The Healed Human Myth: Relationships Are Two Imperfect People
• 00:54:27 When You Hate Who You've Become: The Impossible Task of Pleasing Everyone
• 00:57:13 Emotions as Echoes of the Past
• 00:59:00 Liberation From Parental Approval: A Sign of Maturity
• 00:59:37 Closing: We're All Healed Now

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Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.