A 2014 Hyundai Elantra for Christmas with Trixie and Katya

'Twas four days before Christmas, and all through the club, not a single bear was stirring, not even a cub. The fishnets were hung, by the faux fireplace with care, in the hopes that Trixie and Katya, would magically sprout thick, luscious hair. They were comfy and nestled, all snug in their beds, whilst questions of "Who would play her?" danced through their heads. When out on the boulevard, there arose such a clatter, it was their crazy neighbor Andre, dressed like the Mad Hatter. He yelled up to their window, "Hey Trixie! Hey Katya! Come down and let's party!" To which Trixie replied, "I can't! I had Taco Bell and now I'm a bit farty!" As Andre ran away, in a ketamine-fueled haze, Trixie and Katya turned to the camera and yelled, "To all the Bald & Beautiful listeners, we wish you Happy F**king Holidays!"

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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