You left the toxic relationship. You legally divorced, you financially divorced, you physically moved out, and somehow they still have you. You wake up angry, ruminating, unable to stop thinking about what they did, and wondering what's wrong with you. The answer is nothing. Your nervous system changed while you were in that relationship.This episode is about what's actually happening in your body and brain, and the tools that get you free (and winning).
Returning guest Jackie Miller is the one walking us through it. She's a high-conflict divorce coach, speaker, and host of the podcast Out of Crazy Town, and she has a new book out called Winning: Rewiring Your Brain and Reclaiming Your Life After Toxic Love. She blends neuroscience, psychology, and practical strategy to help people break free from toxic relationship dynamics and build a life that feels peaceful, purposeful, and free.
What you'll hear about in this episode:
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The strategic way toxic exes keep you emotionally hooked after you leave, and why your nervous system stays stuck in response mode long after the abuse (3:02)
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Why you have to understand the "why" behind your healing tools instead of just doing them because someone told you to (as Jackie says, "you need know why the antibiotic works to finish the whole course") (11:14)
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The reminder that if you keep working on yourself, you really will move through the entanglement, even when it doesn't feel like anything is changing (17:55)
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What happens when you're hijacked and spiraling, and how remembering your future gives your brain a map to follow (26:24)
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How to disengage when a toxic ex is relentless, and start untangling yourself from the dynamic you were caught in (34:05)
Learn more about Jackie Miller:
Jackie Miller is a high-conflict divorce coach, speaker, author of Winning: Rewiring Your Brain and Reclaiming Your Life After Toxic Love, and host of the podcast Out of Crazytown. Drawing from her background in science and years of experience supporting survivors of post-separation abuse, Jackie helps individuals break free from toxic relationship dynamics, reclaim their sense of self, and rebuild a life rooted in clarity, confidence, and peace.
Through her work, Jackie blends neuroscience, psychology, and practical strategy to explain why healing after emotional control can feel so hard and how survivors can begin to retrain their brain, disengage from manipulation, and step out of survival mode. Her mission is to help people stop fighting for validation from those committed to misunderstanding them and start redirecting their energy toward their own freedom, power, and future.
Resources & Links:
Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat!Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Strategy ToolkitPhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce
Jackie's websiteJackie's bookJackie on Instagram Jackie on YouTube Jackie's podcast
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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