Why It Hurts to Hold a Grudge — and How to Let Go with Dr. Fred Luskin

Forgiveness might sound simple, but it's hard to let go of the anger that comes with being deeply hurt. Grudges, bitterness, and frustration with life’s unfairness can quietly build up over time and take a real toll on our mental and physical health.

As The Happiness Lab kicks off a new season on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with psychologist Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, to explore what research says about forgiveness. Why is letting go of resentment so much harder than it sounds? And what does it really mean to forgive someone?

Plus, we revisit a powerful story from the archives that shows what forgiveness can look like in the face of profound loss and why it might be the most radical act of self-care we can take.

Experts Referenced:

• Dr. Fred Luskin, psychologist and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects
• Miroslav Volf, Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School and founder of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture
• Katy Milkman, Professor at The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania

Resources Mentioned: 

• "Put Your Imperfections Behind You: Temporal Landmarks Spur Goal Initiation When They Signal New Beginnings," by Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, and Jason Riis (Psychological Science, 2015)
• Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, by Fred Luskin (2002)
• “Effects of a Group Forgiveness Intervention on Forgiveness, Perceived Stress, and Trait-Anger” by Alex H. S. Harris, Frederic Luskin, Sonya B. Norman, Sam Standard, Jennifer Bruning, Stephanie Evans, and Carl E. Thoresen (Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2006)
• “Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution in Marriage” by Frank D. Fincham, Steven R. H. Beach, and Joanne Davila (Journal of Family Psychology, 2004)
• Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, by Miroslav Volf (2006)

Related Episodes:

• "Happiness Lessons of the Ancients: Forgiveness" (The Happiness Lab, 2021)
• "A New Hope" (The Happiness Lab, 2020)

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