56. Seven motherhood myths keeping you stuck

What if the reason motherhood feels so hard isn’t that you’re doing it wrong, but that you’re trying to live up to ideas about “good motherhood” that were never true?

Inspired by Harriet Lerner’s book The Mother Dance, this episode explores seven motherhood myths that can leave mums feeling overwhelmed, resentful, ashamed and convinced that they’re the problem:

1. Motherhood is instinctive and women should automatically know what to do.

2. A good mother is endlessly patient and selfless.

3. Feeling resentment, overwhelm or ambivalence means something is wrong with you.

4. Mums should always put their children first.

5. If you try hard enough, you can get everything right.

6. Motherhood will complete you and make you happy.

7. Good mums don’t need help.

We talk about why patience depends on support and regulation, why resentment can be a sign that you’re carrying too much, and why loving your child doesn’t mean motherhood must fulfil every part of you.

Motherhood is a skill set, not something women are born knowing how to do. You’re allowed to learn, make mistakes, repair, have needs of your own and ask for help.

If these myths have contributed to mum guilt, burnout or the feeling that you’ve lost yourself, this episode will help you question where they came from and decide whether you still want to carry them.

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