64. Why do I do all the hard stuff and he gets to be the fun one?

Why does one parent get the outings, adventures and happy memories while the other does the school runs, sick days, discipline and endless mental load?

The stereotype of the “fun dad” can seem harmless. But when one parent gets to enjoy the lighter parts of family life while the default parent carries the responsibility, routine and emotional labour, resentment can quietly begin to grow.

In this episode, I explore:

• how the fun-parent and default-parent roles develop

• why this division no longer reflects the reality of most two-income families

• the practical, emotional and thinking work that often remains with mums

• how separation and co-parenting can make the imbalance more visible

• why both parents need access to the fun and the difficult parts of raising children

• how ordinary moments can become opportunities for connection and joy

• why fairness doesn’t necessarily mean splitting everything exactly 50/50

Mums deserve to enjoy their children, not experience parenting only as responsibility. And the hard, repetitive parts of parenting matter too. They’re often where trust, intimacy and a secure relationship with a child are built.

Whether you’re parenting together or separately, the goal isn’t to assign one person the fun and the other the work. It’s to create a family structure in which both parents can share the responsibility, connection and joy.

If this resonates, you might also like Episode 2, What do you want your motherhood to feel like?

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