I Didn't Kiss Him Goodbye - Now My Husband is Dead

What do you do when the person you love tells you “I love you,” and just minutes later, your entire world falls apart?

On June 13, 2024, MaKela Allen lost her husband, Michael, to suicide. Just hours earlier, they were planning their future, preparing to move into a new home, and talking about having another child. There was no goodbye. No warning she could have recognized. Just a final text message that would haunt her forever.

I sat down with MaKela for a deeply personal and emotional conversation about suicide, grief, domestic abuse, and the unimaginable reality of raising children after losing their father.

In this episode:

• The final moments before Michael took his own life
• The warning signs MaKela never imagined could lead to suicide
• How she told her three-year-old son his dad was gone
• The complicated grief of loving someone who also hurt you
• Finding the strength to rebuild a life after unimaginable loss

What struck me most was MaKela’s ability to hold love, anger, heartbreak, and compassion all at once.

Her story is a reminder that grief isn't something we simply overcome. Sometimes, surviving means learning to carry what we cannot change.

Key Moments:

00:00 My husband's final I love you before his death

03:42 The family tragedy before everything fell apart

07:42 The morning my husband took his own life

10:24 I found my husband's car surrounded by police

15:19 The moment doctors told me he was dead

18:22 Telling my three-year-old his dad was gone

21:14 The painful truth about our marriage and domestic abuse

24:08 The suicide note my husband left behind

27:59 Loving someone who caused you so much pain

32:05 Were there warning signs I missed before his suicide?

36:27 How I want my children to remember their father

40:15 Surviving the worst day of my life

43:00 Finding hope when grief feels unbearable

Connect with Me:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/

Connect with MaKela:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makelaallen/