What Fawning Really Is and Why It Happens

Sarah offers insight into both the short-term benefits and long-term consequences of fawning. You’ll learn how this behavior relates to the nervous system and the importance of anchoring into regulation and your adult self. She also discusses how social pressures can influence our tendency to fawn in romantic relationships, friendships, and beyond. Listen in for a compassionate guide for how to come back home to your most authentic self.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] Introduction
• [01:08] Sarah’s personal experiences of fawning
• [04:16] What fawning is and why it happens
• [10:00] Why partners who don’t fawn might feel threatening
• [12:16] Short-term benefits of fawning
• [14:10] Long-term ramifications of fawning
• [17:12] Tools to start allowing yourself to be seen and known
• [20:20] The influence of social pressures on fawning
• [26:15] What healing looks like in practice
• [31:48] Question 1 – How do I know if I’m fawning or just being nice?
• [37:15] Question 2 – How do I overcome fawning when I’ve made a mistake?
• [41:11] Question 3 – How do I differentiate between adult me and a fawning part?

Get Started with Nervous System Regulation:

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Quotes:

“Fawning, essentially, is becoming whatever we need to be to be safe in the situation that we are in.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:07:20]

“If you find yourself fawning in any area of life, please know there’s a reason for it. It’s not happening because you’re inauthentic.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:09:29]

“Fawning serves an important purpose, and for many of us, if you’re like me, it’s saved your life.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:12:15]

“The people in your life are not supposed to be your therapist!” — Sarah Baldwin [0:30:26]