When Conflict Shows Up in Our Closest Relationships

Sarah breaks down what happens when the nervous system mistakes present-day conflict for past pain, and why we may protect ourselves by shutting down or getting defensive. She also shares how curiosity can help us pause, look inward, and understand why we’re getting triggered. Instead of seeing conflict as a sign that something is wrong, Sarah shows how it can become a place for healing, honesty, and deeper connection. Tune in to learn how to return to your adult self, ask for what you need, and navigate conflict with greater safety, care, and trust.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] Introduction
• [01:48] How the nervous system connects the present to past relational pain
• [06:04] Why conflict is often misunderstood as intentional harm
• [08:14] How unresolved wounds get activated in close relationships
• [11:53] Relationships are not meant to be easy
• [15:58] Examples of how conflict can help you heal
• [22:25] Tools to navigate conflict and step toward repair
• [27:28] Question 1 - Why does my parent struggle with repairing after conflict?
• [35:24] Question 2 - Is healing possible in a struggling long-term relationship?
• [49:11] Question 3 - How do you navigate conflict effectively with a business partner?
   

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Quotes:

“Relationships are not supposed to be just easy.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:12:08]

“We draw in people who poke at the last bit of our wounding, and that is a beautiful invitation into the final bits of our healing.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:14:46]

“When there is conflict, we have to begin getting curious internally first. Curiosity is the key around conflict.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:22:25]

“Love is when someone stretches towards their scary stuff.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:37:25]

“Trauma healing is something called state-dependent. That means we need to go into the state or the experience that we were in the moment we were traumatized, and make it different.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:38:26]

Links Mentioned:

YMS Waitlist

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NYNS Waitlist

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