Episode 114: Rethinking the Mental Load & Teaching Kids to “Notice and Do” with Sam Kelly

What if we stopped waiting to be asked and started teaching our kids to notice what needs to be done? In this episode, Rachael sits down with therapist-turned-feminist coach Sam Kelly to talk about the mental load, gender norms, family dynamics, and her “notice and do” philosophy for creating more equitable homes.

Together, they unpack why the mental load is a whole-family issue and how parents can teach children to recognize needs and take action without constantly being reminded. Sam also shares practical strategies for building independence through routines, visual cues, and scripts, including ways to adapt these ideas for neurodivergent children and adults.

Inside this episode:

• What “notice and do” means and where the idea came from
• Why the mental load is a whole-family issue
• How gender norms and cultural conditioning shape household responsibilities
• Teaching kids to notice what needs to be done without being asked
• Practical strategies for building independence through routines, visual cues, and scripts
• Creating a more equitable division of household responsibilities
• Adapting “notice and do” for neurodivergent children and adults
• Helping kids navigate multi-step tasks and attention challenges
• How sharing the mental load can reduce burnout
• Why teaching kids to contribute is about more than chores
• How “notice and do” can build confidence and independence
• And so much more!

Mentioned in this episode:

• Preorder: Sam Kelly’s “Notice and Do” 
• Follow Sam on instagram: @samkelly_world 

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️

✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨

Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.

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