Ep 193: When They Pull Away (The Avoidant Strategy)

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I’m joined by my friend Pontus for an honest conversation about the pattern many people label “avoidant”—the push–pull between longing for connection and needing space. If you’re the one pulling away, or if you’re on the receiving end of someone creating distance, this episode offers a rare, compassionate look behind the curtain.

Pontus shares what it’s like when the body says no and the mind rushes in to build a case: “They’re not right,” “I’m broken,” “This will never work.” Together, we slow it down and uncover what’s underneath: the fear of an inner emotional experience—and the survival strategy of pulling away so you don’t have to feel it.

Related episodes:
EP 192: 5 Signs of Insecure Attachment (And How to Use Them to Heal)
EP 164: A different look at anxious and avoidant attachment

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