Ep 194: When They Pursue (The Anxious Strategy)

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This week in the attachment series, I sit down with Jessica to explore the anxious strategy—what’s really happening beneath the urge to reach, pursue, obsess, and “make it safe” when someone feels distant. Jessica describes the somatic reality of anxious attachment: the hyper-attunement, the meaning-making in the gaps, and the visceral panic that can erupt when a text doesn’t come back—despite knowing, logically, that you’re “fine.”

We talk about how healing isn’t about becoming less sensitive—it’s about becoming a secure base for yourself. Jessica shares the practices that are helping her move through abandonment waves without collapsing, blaming, or performing for love: nervous system discharge, surrendering to sensation, and reparenting the baby part that’s still waiting to be held. This episode is a compassionate, nuanced look at anxious attachment that will leave you with more understanding—and a clearer path toward secure love.

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